520美书楼

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第6部分（第1页）

was　some　other；　but　Mommy　and　Daddy　had　played　both　tennis　and　badminton　at

Stovington；　so　he　assumed　it　could　be　either）　and　you　had　to　go　with　one　of　them

and　you　practically　never　saw　the　other　one；　and　the　one　you　were　with　could

marry　somebody　you　didnt　even　know　if　the　urge　came　on　them。　The　most

terrifying　thing　about　DIVORCE　was　that　he　had　sensed　the　word…or　concept；　or

whatever　it　was　that　came　to　him　in　his　understandings…floating　around　in　his

own　parents　heads；　sometimes　diffuse　and　relatively　distant；　sometimes　as　thick

and　obscuring　and　frightening　as　thunderheads。　It　had　been　that　way　after　Daddy

punished　him　for　messing　the　papers　up　in　his　study　and　the　doctor　had　to　put

his　arm　in　a　cast。　That　memory　was　already　faded；　but　the　memory　of　the　DIVORCE

thoughts　was　clear　and　terrifying。　It　had　mostly　been　around　his　mommy　that

time；　and　he　had　been　in　constant　terror　that　she　would　pluck　the　word　from　her

brain　and　drag　it　out　of　her　mouth；　making　it　real。　DIVORCE。　It　was　a　constant

undercurrent　in　their　thoughts；　one　of　the　few　he　could　always　pick　up；　like　the

beat　of　simple　music。　But　like　a　beat；　the　central　thought　formed　only　the　spine

of　more　plex　thoughts；　thoughts　he　could　not　as　yet　even　begin　to　interpret。

They　came　to　him　only　as　colors　and　moods。　Mommys　DIVORCE　thoughts　centered

around　what　Daddy　had　done　to　his　arm；　and　what　had　happened　at　Stovington　when

Daddy　lost　his　job。　That　boy。　That　George　Hatfield　who　got　pissed　off　at　Daddy

and　put　the　holes　in　their　bugs　feet。　Daddys　DIVORCE　thoughts　were　more

plex；　colored　dark　violet　and　shot　through　with　frightening　veins　of　pure

black。　He　seemed　to　think　they　would　be　better　off　if　he　left。　That　things　would

stop　hurting。　His　daddy　hurt　almost　all　the　time；　mostly　about　the　Bad　Thing。

Danny　could　almost　always　pick　that　up　too：　Daddys　constant　craving　to　go　into

a　dark　place　and　watch　a　color　TV　and　eat　peanuts　out　of　a　bowl　and　do　the　Bad

Thing　until　his　brain　would　be　quiet　and　leave　him　alone。

But　this　afternoon　his　mother　had　no　need　to　worry　and　he　wished　he　could　go

to　her　and　tell　her　that。　The　bug　had　not　broken　down。　Daddy　was　not　off

somewhere　doing　the　Bad　Thing。　He　was　almost　home　now；　put…putting　along　the

highway　between　Lyons　and　Boulder。　For　the　moment　his　daddy　wasnt　even　thinking

about　the　Bad　Thing。　He　was　thinking　about　。。。about。。。

Danny　looked　furtively　behind　him　at　the　kitchen　window。　Sometimes　thinking

very　hard　made　something　happen　to　him。　It　made　things　—　real　things　—　go　away；

and　then　he　saw　things　that　werent　there。　Once；　not　long　after　they　put　the

cast　on　his　arm；　this　had　happened　at　the　supper　table。　They　werent　talking

much　to　each　other　then。　But　they　were　thinking。　Oh　yes。　The　thoughts　of　DIVORCE

hung　over　the　kitchen　table　like　a　cloud　full　of　black　rain；　pregnant；　ready　to

burst。　It　was　so　bad　he　couldnt　eat。　The　thought　of　eating　with　all　that　black

DIVORCE　around　made　him　want　to　throw　up。　And　because　it　had　seemed　desperately

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